I was just reading a post from about a year ago, and it's crazy how different things are now. I almost feel like I'm not even the same person I was then. Maybe it's the people I'm with now. Maybe it's the school I'm at. Maybe it's... I don't even know. But all I do know, is I'm so glad I'm not at that point any more. I'm so happy here and now. And I think this is one of the things I like about keeping a blog. I can look back on the past, and know how I was feeling back then. That was the feelings and thoughts and words are never gone. I know you can't live in the past (and trust me, I don't want to relive how I was feeling this time last year), but it's still important to not forget the past, right? Because it's out pasts that make us who we are in the present. If anything in my past had been different, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. And I like who I am today; I don't want to be anybody else.
When I write, especially in Break Me, all of my characters start out as being based on me. Or, well, not me exactly... but more like bits and pieces of me. Like I'll take a feeling I have or a thought, and that develops into a character. Or something that I'm afraid of will be something one of my characters is afraid of. There is a death scene in Break Me, and it's one that really hits Jayla (my main character) hard and really makes her think a lot about like, like where is she going? And why? Why is she here? Why was it him and not her? And I think I wrote that scene because death is something I'm afraid of. It's not something you ever sit down and think about, but this forces her to. But anyway. Sometimes I wonder if people who read it will be able to tell what about my characters was based off me. And I mean loosely based off (is it based off? or based on? Cuz I've heard both used. And I've used both, right in this very paragraph), really insanely loosely based off/on. I just wonder, you know?